Tip 4: Ask the expert

Although I have training in a variety of therapeutic modalities, sometimes all I know is not enough and I feel stuck. It may be that the person I am working with is still suffering in the same way, or that their loved ones have expressed their dismay that treatment seems to have stalled.

I do take my cases to supervision and find that it is possible to come away with a different perspective, and a fresh way of working with a problem. However, that is not always available and I have found the following technique, mentioned in Motivational Interviewing (Miller and Rollnick) to be very helpful.

I start by being honest and sharing my sense that what I am doing isn't working, and I ask permission to do something different. I explain what I am going to do, and then the patient sits in another seat.

From that new position, I ask 'I'm feeling a little stuck at the moment working with X, and I'd like your advice. I really want to help, and I can't quite see what would be a good next step. What do you think is going on with X, and what might I try?' And then I thank the 'consultant', when the patient goes back to their chair.

I am always amazed at what is achieved by this exercise. It is a wonderful reminder that people are experts on themselves, and that being an observer to our own experience and describing it in the third person can provide some surprising insights!